In the last few days, you have focused on self-discovery.
When did you get love as a child? And when did you not?
You’ve reflected on the strategies you have used to feeling loveworthy.
The purpose was to discover patterns and behavior in your everyday life that are rooted in your childhood. To help you understand when you feel good enough and when you have the hardest time loving yourself.
You have also reflected on the behavior of others. What irritates, provokes, and annoys you about others?
That shows you how you would never allow yourself to be.
Finally, you have reflected on when you are dissatisfied but give up your strength and thus deny yourself happiness.
All the above are ways to come closer to yourself.
It shows you where and why you are vulnerable in relation to your self-worth. What it is you do not like about yourself. What you will never allow in yourself, and when you are ashamed or irritated by yourself?
In the above situations, you benefit from being your own supportive, loving, encouraging, and caring friend.
What you do not need is a critical and angry enemy who keeps you down. If you want a positive change in your life – you need to treat yourself as being your own best friend.
Read through your notes – you have probably not discovered every time you scold yourself, but it helps you to see some of the times, when and why you must give yourself extra support and encouragement.
Today you will get a simple tool kit to be your own best friend.
You can use the tools every day and in situations where you make yourself small, talk badly to yourself or feel you are not good enough.
Put your phone on airplane mode to avoid distractions for the next 8 minutes.
This step takes approx. 4-6 minutes.
You must be your own best friend EVERY DAY!
You must pay attention to yourself every day.
Not all day. Not several minutes.
But you need to be your best friend at least one time every day – even though it is only for 30 seconds or even 10 seconds.
It can be something you already do in your everyday life. And just add some awareness.
Here are a few examples:
When you take a bath, soap your body gently for a few seconds. Caress and cuddle yourself and maybe say the sentence from step 2 below.
If you put on makeup (or take it off), pace down and be gentle with yourself.
Look into the mirror when you wash your hands and say something encouraging and loving to yourself. Use the same sentence every time. For example: “Hi [your name]. I support you and love you.”
When you empty the dishwasher take a long, deep inhale and exhale slowly. Breathing does so much good to you.
When you feel you lack confidence or criticize yourself, say this: “I am good enough”.
When you put your head on the pillow in the evening, give yourself a long hug while telling yourself that you love yourself or saying that you are good enough.
Use the small things in everyday life to do big things for yourself.
Now it’s your turn. Think about how you can show yourself care in your everyday life. Be realistic.
Think about this and write down the answers:
- What does it mean for me to be loving to myself?
- How can I show myself love or care for 5-10 seconds?
When during my day could it fit in?
(When I wash my hands/get up in the morning/ taking the bus/ eat lunch/ after I have brushed my teeth/ when I have worked for 2 hours …)
Pick one of the examples or one of your answers.
Do it every day for a week.
For example, if you choose to hug yourself every night before you go to bed – decide for yourself that you will do that every day for seven days.
This step takes approx. 1-2 minutes.
The last exercise is at its best if it is done in front of the mirror.
But you can choose to say it aloud to yourself without a mirror as well.
Use all your strength to say this out to yourself.
If you are standing in front of the mirror, look into your eyes.
“I can create positive changes in my life. I love myself, and I treat myself with love and respect. I am powerful in who I am. I know I’m good enough.”
Feel free to translate it into your own language if English is not your primary language and if it feels better for you in your own language.
You have been amazing!
And you have mastered it.
You are ready to make big positive changes for yourself.
The positive changes affect not only you but everything around you.
If you have children, focusing on your own self-esteem will help to give them healthy self-esteem.
If you are in a relationship, you will feel a positive difference in your relationship when you have filled yourself up with love.
In all aspects of life, you will feel a positive change by working on your self-esteem.
Love yourself often! Love yourself all the time. You are worthy.
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You can use the form below.
Please share your thoughts on today’s exercise. Was it easy/difficult? Did you understand it? Did you like it or not? Are you skeptical or positive about such exercises? Your feedback is valuable:
If you have any questions, do not ever hesitate to write us at FeelGood@feelgoodaboutyou.life
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